Pride Month – Asexuality

(Credit to the creator of the ace flag used for featured image)

I’ve been debating over this post, since I’m primarily a book blogger, but since it’s Pride month, I figured I’d share.

ace enjolras

(This is my favourite ace!Enjolras drawing, but I have no idea who did it, so credit to the artist!!!)

It was around Year 11 that I first heard the term used; at that point, I was wondering if I might be bi or pan, since I was attracted to guys yes, but no more than I was attracted to girls. My friend Tink (who I owe pretty much my entire open-minded nature to) was talking about two girls in her friendship group who were getting together, and she was surprised since one of them was ‘ace’.

At that point, I really had no idea what it was; I kinda figured it meant ‘no attraction whatsoever’. Only when I got to the beginning of Year 12, and wound up on Tumblr much more, did I discover the details of it.

No sexual attraction? Tick.
Still able to feel romantic/aesthetic attraction? Tick.

I was incredibly lucky at that point to have become friends with a group of people who are pretty much all members of the LGBT+ community. It was to two of them that I came out first, and they both took is brilliantly.

The thing I struggle with is that there is virtually no mention of asexuality in the media, meaning that many people I’ve considered coming out to just wouldn’t get it. Online people tend to be more open minded (at least, those I’ve come across that aren’t flaming on Tumblr smh) and I’m comfortable with it on here. Even when I do see aphobic posts (especially from the LGBT community???That a whole ‘nother post right there) it’s easy enough to ignore them.

Real life is more tricky. It’s not that I’m ashamed, but I had issues with a girl in my year who had a habit of attacking people’s sexualities when she was mad at them. (In case you were wondering, she’s one of the two aforementioned friends that took me coming out very well. It didn’t last, clearly.)

Thankfully, people like her seem to be few and far between.

As for a romantic orientation, I’m still questioning; for ages I figured I was hetero or bi-romantic, but recently I realised that all of my previous crushes (bar the most recent) have had one thing in common: they were all aesthetic.

Only my most recent crush was based on romantic feeling, and I’ve literally never experienced it before or since. At this point I think I may be grey-aro? To be fair, I’m not sure I’ll ever be entirely sure.

I’ve been asked before “Do you really need a label?” and for me, that answer is a simple yes. I’m the type of person that needs to be able to define things, and having feelings squiggling all over the place isn’t helpful. Also, it helps me to find others like me, which is probably the best thing to come out of this all??

Feel free to rant and ramble about your own stories, I’d love to hear them!!

Holly xx

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